How I became a better person - Part III

I finally concluded my story, see parts 1 and 2

Part I

Part II


Part III

I was still drinking a lot, schoolwork was weighing me down, work was my escape and sex. But I was getting less and less of it. Something had changed.

I wasn’t a very nice person, but I was trying to fix that. I started treating women better, but that only meant less women, and I felt like I was fumbling around, unsure of myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore.

No surprise, I failed my qualification exams, and came close to giving up and abandoning my dreams to becoming a real lawyer, but I picked myself up and applied myself this time around. In all areas of life, I laid off the booze gradually, week by week, and surprisingly it wasn’t all that bad…I was more focused, more energized and I hadn’t been this fit in years.

This was my time, my farking time to show everyone that I could. I could do what I wanted to, and not be ashamed of anything. So I enrolled in a gym, once again. It felt nice to have something again, two hours a day where I was alone with my thoughts and got a release for all my frustrations.

Slowly and carefully I built up my social circle again, friends I had ignored came back into my life, women I had slept with accepted me as a friend and women I scorned….well they still scorned me, but they tried to make it work. And with most of them it worked. I don’t know why I was desperate to make it work, perhaps I needed forgiveness for being such an ass. I wanted them to like me. My ego was building up every week, and the only way for me to grow up, was to have my ego validated. To have people love me.

And they did, I started to change…I was no longer a follower, I started to become a leader.

One night on my computer, I came across something called the Pickup Artist….a new VH1 show. Now I have a full blown hatred for reality tv, but something told me to check this out. So I did and I was amazed, I thought….if this is true, it would change my life forever. So I googled, and I googled and I read up on this Mystery kid…he seemed legit. So I watched his show, and I watched it again, and again until I had the lessons down. I kept a journal where I wrote all of his jargon and lectures down, all the techniques and body language tips. All of it. I was going to excel at this.

For a few days, I studied him from A to Z, from his furry hat to his leathery boots. I completely ignored the other aspects of my life, I was obsessed with ‘avatars’ and ‘openers’. I did everything he told me to, it felt like the program was there for me to watch.

So I started building my avatar, it was a long and hard process. Trial and error, mostly error. But I got there. To be truthful, it wasn’t that good. But it helped me get started. So I went out in my tight blue jeans, and tight fitting black shirt buttoned halfway up, showing my chest hair, my hair like David Boreanaz’s ‘Angel’. The night was quite good, I was spewing lines like “back to me!” and “you’re such a dork!” and asking opinions on my friend’s shoebox filled with pictures of his ex.

If someone had been watching my progress that night, they would have laughed out loud.

Fuck them, I was awesome. Because it was my first night out and I pulled. Alright, I didn’t pull my target, but I settled for another girl later. But I got her into bed using MM and it was amazing. I had climbed my Everest that night, and now I was sitting on top smoking a cigarette asking ‘was it good for you too?”

So I continued, same avatar, same lines and more. I started opening sets and crashing and burning, but there was always this one set that just worked magically for me. But I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t done changing.

So I worked on my avatar again, this time I went more army. Same jeans, army shirts, dog tags, leather wrist bands came later to that mix, and I kept the hairdo.

And it worked, girls loved the dog tags and wrists bands, and my newfound and blaring self confidence. I realized the importance of peacocking, how massive it was to my game. So I thought…..what about going too far? Will I get shit from tools? Let’s see. So I picked up my bowling shoes, with neon colors and in night clubs the lighting made them glow, putting all eyes on me.

And I had tools giving me shit all night, and I just smiled and ignored them. I was realizing how this game works. And I was working it.

With every week, I became more powerful at this, chick crack became a favorite of mine, I was lording the venue, girls approached and opened me, groping me and kissing. I was collecting numbers and scheduling Day2’s. I was no longer a ‘7’, I was just me. I felt great, and I knew I was attractive.

I was at a point where I could drive to town, party for 2 hours, kissing and getting numbers, then going home and sleeping in peace. I was no longer in it for sex, I was just in it for me. Having fun with this life that I have.

Getting laid is no longer hard work, it’s fun work. I reached my goal, but I’m no where done. I’m still just a student, there’s always more to learn, and goals to achieve. I’m now in a LTR with a beautiful, sexy and smart girl that constantly keeps me on my toes. I keep changing my avatar, pushing my comfort limit and trying new stuff.

So, to you guys still reading. Hang in there, it’s not a magic solution, I’m no where a ‘guru’ but I’m at a place in my life, where I’m happy with myself and what I do. It’s going to take a while, and you will want to give up. Don’t.

I became a better person, but I’m not done yet.

Oh yeah…my oneitis? I lorded her boyfriend, pushing my frame over them, and showed her how much more value I have, and now she gives me dinner bowl eyes everytime I see her…and I don’t care, it puts a smile on my face. She will never get me, and it saddens her. Oh................... and I laid her best friend.

Happy sarging.