On Body language and dealing with AMOGs

I had a long and interesting conversation with Hengman a few weeks ago concerning how I use BL in the field, what I notice, what I read into. How I show my intent and will. Some of it was mentioned in the Field Guide, but per request I've decided to write a short piece on it.

Body language when dealing with other men

We've all studied the subtle signs of Body Language IOIs in the field, it has been touched upon in many books and articles regarding pickup, but I want to detail how and to what degree I use and interpret Body Language when it comes to meeting male obstacles and AMOGs.

Eye contact
First thing worth mentioning, and I can't stress this enough. Look a man in the eyes. Everything is a pissing contest(how ever I don't recommend actually doing those)
Looking a man in the eye is a sign of leadership, of being unafraid to challenge another male. Pack animals will look away from the Alpha male or stay behind him, the Alpha male looks at his followers when he wants to.

Eye contact needs to be firm, but also convey a message of gentleness; you are not looking at a prey, but a pack member. What our eyes say can decide our future relations with people, you do not want to come off as angry to every man you meet, but you need to show that you are a man that holds his ground and changing your beliefs won't be easy for him.

Practice your eye contact in a mirror, try out different ways of emoting with your eyes, and find the one that builds trust, shows leadership skills, firm beliefs and wisdom.

I’m going to share with you a small state pumper I use every time I enter a venue, and it has to do with giving people the impression of a confident male. I start by standing straight, walking slowly but purposely from one end to the other, looking every single person I meet in the eye and giving them a big smile. When I reach the end of the venue, I stop for a moment, use the restrooms, order a drink, talk to someone, then I walk back just like before, and this time around I get tons of smiles back.

Handshake
When it comes to handshakes, a lot of different things will tell different things about you as a person. The nature of shaking hands originally comes from tribal leaders meeting to discuss matters of state and offering their right arm(in most cases) normally used to handle weapons, in a gesture of non aggression. You are baring your wrist and showing that you are not holding a weapon, nor will you reach for one while you are this close to your opponent. You have his fighting hand in yours.

There are many varieties of handshakes, which one you use describes your personality to a degree, and many things about the way you carry out the handshake will fill out the map.

The warriors grip, this one is not so much mainstream, however used by athletes mostly, and self conscious men of leadership status. Performed by gripping your counterparts arm close to the elbow and squeezing down hard. He will do the same, thus locking both of your fighting hands, in close proximity to each other. This posture also locks in with strong eye contact up close.

This posture looks powerful and conveys a lot of manliness, but has been slowly fading out of western society over the centuries. Not recommended with strangers since this move is not mainstream and might end up being awkward, if you like this pose have your friends adapt to it. Having other men greet you like that in field can be a powerful DHV. However to use this pose correctly, it must be congruent with who you are. This stance will not work as well for a soft spoken, weak built man as it would for a tall, firm and heavily built man.

The left hand will come into play only if you wish to convey camaraderie and trust, as tribal leaders would keep their left hand free in case they needed to protect themselves, a friend will add the left hand to the mix and lay it firmly against his counterparts upper arm/shoulder. Thus exposing his torso for attack.
Left hand not to be added when dealing with an AMOG situation since it conveys a message of vulnerability.

This stance, when dealing with strangers, will let them know that you think of yourself as a warrior, a physically fit and strong individual. A true leader of men. For an added effect of fear, lean in while holding his hand in place. Disarm the threat with a smile, how ever the sub-conscious will label you as a powerful male, hopefully more powerful than he is, in his mind.

The warrior grip should be vertical, since it is a grip of two leaders meeting. Turning your hand slightly so your hand will be on top will be seen as a sign of aggression with this grip since it is not as subtle as a slight turn of a wrist and takes much more force. If the AMOG is man enough to use this grip, you would rather work on sub-consciously disarming him in stead of angering him in light of possible retaliation.

This grip should last for no longer than 3 seconds because of its intimate nature. In that time, eye contact should never be broken.

Normal handshake, the everyday handshake of men will hold many clues as to your inner frame. This is the mainstream replacement of the warrior grip in a more civilized world of equality.

The angle is the first thing to think about, when going in for a handshake. When you close your eyes and think back, your most used angle of approach when dealing with strangers is; Hand upwards, straight, down and lock or; straight forward, lock.
Keeping your hand closer to your torso protects you from attack and makes it easier to reach for a weapon, these are the most used forms of approach.
With friends and family your approach most likely will be one from the side; hand outwards to your side, flick or turn of a wrist, arc to the left, lock. This conveys trust and camaraderie, it's more casual and intimate.

When dealing with an AMOG situation, the former approach is preferable. It has aspects of the warrior grip to it, while not being as confrontational and straight forward. While the latter gives too much trust away and makes you look at him as an equal. This is good for disarming male obstacles, as his friends will shake his hand in this manner.

First thing to look at, force of grip; This will tell you straight away if you are dealing with an alpha male or not. Your grip should be firm, and not applied until the area between the thumb and index finger is locked against the same area on your counterparts hand, so you will not squeeze his fingers instead of fist.
Notice how many men you meet that don't apply their whole hand to the grip and you end up squeezing their fingers? This is a sign of insecurity, LSE and submission. Their grip will also be weak, like a child's. Conveys same weaknesses as not committing. Always commit fully to a grip and apply a firm grip, but never too much force as it will convey a wrong message of a neurotic and stressed individual.

Showing equality, submission or dominance in a handshake; this matter is very well explained in Decibel's PUA field Guide and I will use an excerpt from his writing to make my point, "Tilting your palm down will assert dominance, up will assert submissiveness. An AMOG may grab your hand and try to force it into a submissive posture, but you should either maintain dominance or go for a vertical equality shake. If you wish to befriend the AMOG, a vertical shake is best to create rapport, and equally important, your grip should match his.
If an AMOG approaches with an aggressive palm-down thrust, you can use
your other hand on top of his to force the shake vertical."

Same thing applies to this handshake as the warrior grip when it comes to adding the left hand to the mix, how ever since this form of handshake is less confrontational, how you apply your left hand can be read more in to. Apply force; show dominance over a subordinate, casually slap; camaraderie and friendship.

A combination of leaning in and applying force with left hand on upper arm or shoulder will convey a lot of alpha characteristics, and it my preferred method when meeting men. Add strong eye contact and a genuine smile for maximum effect.

The last trick is something you need to use carefully when dealing with an AMOG, since it will undermine his authority and show everyone your complete dominance over him, this can be achieved by adding your left hand on top of your hands mid-shake, this is how dignitaries and leaders shake the hands of women and children. This will trigger resentment in most cases. I only use this when dealing with AMOGs that already surpass me in looks or fitness while also showing great alpha and leadership skills. Call it a secret weapon, add a grin in there and you will have dented his ego.

Upper torso

A few years ago, I was involved in a car crash and got some very serious whiplash, still affects me today if I do not follow the rules my physical therapist gave me, and you would know them as the Alexander Technique. For more information I suggest visiting www.alexandertechnique.com

What it taught me, was that to relieve stress on your back and neck, you need to stand straight, chin down and head sitting straight on the spine, not arched forward. Coincidentally this also describes the posture of a confident leader.

When meeting new men, or dealing with AMOGs, stand up straight, don’t slouch. Keep your shoulders straight, stick your chest out and try and feel your spine relaxing as you take on a natural state, because our society has changed the way we work, we put more stress on our backs, and sitting down all day will slowly change our ‘natural’ state and until you find that correct posture again, your energy won’t be the same.

When standing up straight, shoulders raised and chest forward, you are exhibiting alpha male characteristics. This posture oozes confidence, and you can just feel the change in your inner game if your posture is confident, it affects you on both a physical and mental level.

Walking the walk

Walk like a man who is not afraid of taking the next step, if there’s someone in your way, make them move before you reach them, be confident and assertive in your walk. Walk slowly, move your upper body as you walk, add a slight swagger, we’re not talking Bee Gee’s here necessarily, just walk the walk like nobody’s business.

Approach a girl with even steps, swagger and slow but casual steps her first impressions, providing she sees you coming, will be of a confident male, as she has most likely been approached by nervous AFCs and orbiters all night who walk like they’re the prey about to be devoured if they say and do the wrong thing. Don’t misstep, no uneven steps either. This kind of body language will make you stand out from the rest of the males at the venue. After making this a rule, I prefer to always be on the move, just to get noticed. Try it.

Smiling

Just smile like you just had the best sex of your life, practice it at home. Might be a beaming smile, a sly grin, a small smile. Doesn’t matter as long as you feel good wearing it.

Now good luck and happy sarging